


Inter dimensional travel hecks you up kids

by KenzieP



Category: Naruto
Genre: ASSUMED, Animal Abuse, Dimension Travel, F/M, Kisame doesn’t have enough content so I have to make it all myself, Oh hey look more tags, Set before the series starts, animal prescription drugs, blood in the first chapter but probably not any after, kisame has been turned into a kitten, medical procedure mentions, more tags to be added later, non-descriptive wounds and recovery, since I know literally jack shit about veterinary medicine, this is literally the most self indulgent self insert fic where I get to kiss the shark man
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-07
Updated: 2019-04-29
Packaged: 2019-10-06 00:25:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,635
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17335220
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KenzieP/pseuds/KenzieP
Summary: In which Kisame turns into a fluffy kitten and I proceed to spoil said kitten rotten.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is the single most self indulgent piece of fiction I have written to date (and the only one I’ve posted) and I hope you all enjoy my garbage.

Kisame opens his eyes blearily and looks out at the fuzzy shapes in his field of vision, letting out a pathetic groan. Or what should have been a groan. It sounded more like a mewl. He can’t think on it too much over the intense agony in his abdomen. Another sound of pain escapes his throat.  
“Where is Samehada? it should have started healing me by now,” he thinks dazedly. While his reserves aren’t full, he has at least half of his chakra - though it feels a bit strange- which should be more than enough to heal him. “Unless my body has been ripped to pieces..”  
Another pitiful sound bubbles out, and he can feel the ground vibrating with footsteps, and a reasonably sized amount of chakra growing nearer. Unable to stop himself, he cries out again. “Help...!” He really doesn’t want to just lay here and bleed out.  
A voice somewhere over him cries out in distress. 

“Oh my god! Who did this to you?!” It cries. Sounds like a woman. 

“What is she saying?” Kisame questions silently. Her words made no sense at all, like she was speaking a dead dialect. The world is going black at the edges, and he starts to fade in and out of consciousness. He feels hands lifting him up but the hands must belong to a GIANT, along with the soft chest he is nestled against, and the shinobi supposes it doesn’t really matter; he’s probably dying, and there are worse places to die than cradled in a plush bosom with extremely soft and gentle hands. He could do without the running though. It’s heavy and unrefined for the comparative size of the chakra reserves the giant woman has and it jars his injuries something fierce. Kisame drifts back into focus at the sound of a door slamming open, then shut and the woman shouting.  
“Mom get the car!! I found a—— nd he’s really—— bleeding out!!” And Kisame briefly wonders what her words mean before tuning out the sounds around him again. He dozes through his pain until he hears yelling again, years of being an active ninja forcing him to alertness as multiple voices all clamor around him. He feels himself being passed off and protests as loudly as he can, not wanting to be parted from the nice smellchakraperson he already associated with safety and pleasant things -breasts are always nice- and given to these strangers that all had weak chakra that felt not WRONG but unrefined. Samehada would hate this chakra.  
“Shhh it’s alright darlin, it’ll be alright,” the woman soothes as he calls out wordlessly and the people with the strange chakra and chemical animal smells take him away. He can’t understand these people, he doesn’t trust them, WHERE ARE THEY TAKING HIM?  
His objections soon die out as some sort of SOMETHING is put in him and he passes into the sweet oblivion of unconsciousness. 

 

 

I pace nervously as the vets vanish from sight with the poor kitten I found. I still have his blood in my hands and the receptionist has questions for me.  
“Ma’am you’d said you were the one to find it?” She prompts.  
“Yeah. I heard it crying as I was on my way home. I found the little guy by some dumpsters, and it looks like someone beat the shit out of him, tried to slit his belly open and then left him to die,” I say, feeling righteous fury and sadness rising in my chest. Who the fuck does that to an animal?! It’s disgusting.  
I answer all the questions I can then settle down to wait for news on the kitten. 

 

An undetermined amount of time later one of the veterinarians emerges from the back. I stand and nervously approach, fearing the worst.  
“Is the kitten ok?” I ask, struggling not to fidget. 

“Yes, luckily you found him just in time and we were able to save him. It was touch and go for a bit but he’s a scrappy little guy and should make a full recovery with some TLC.” The vet replies with a small professional smile. 

I sigh out a relieved “Thank god,” as most of my anxiety dissipates. After that it’s more of the waiting game as I fill out paperwork and get the rundown from the vet techs. Essentially it’s “Come back in the morning,”. Only then do I realize that it has been dark outside for a while now. So I go home and wait for the sunrise.


	2. Chapter 2

The next time he wakes, Kisame is in much less pain but everything is blurry and disjointed. Like the bars in his room. Since when did he have a wall made of bars? Or was this a hospital? Which begs the question of why the hospital has bars for walls.   
He doesn’t even realize he fell asleep until he wakes up in the arms of a strangely familiar woman.   
“Hey there darlin,” she coos softly, looking right at him. If he were more coherent Kisame would probably blush or try to protest, from her tone she’s obviously coddling him, even though the words themselves made no sense. But as it was his head and limbs felt heavy and fuzzy and thick and he likes the not-stranger woman. He hums in content and lets his head flop against her, and for some reason rubs his face where he landed, and he’s still humming, and sees no reason to stop.   
“Oh look at you, you’re such a sweetheart!” She says. Kisame snorts at her babying voice but it comes out as a dainty sneeze sound and the woman makes a wordless noise that women everywhere seem to make when they find something cute. He is not cute. He is a powerful and deadly shinobi, thank you very much miss not-stranger-boob-giant-lady.   
Kisame doesn’t pay much attention to what is going on, perfectly happy to stay pressed against the nice smellchakrasofthands ladys chest. It was a very nice chest. Like... he can’t really think what it’s like but it was pleasant and warm and he can’t remember ever being this comfortable and relaxed. 

 

I grin stupidly down at the sleeping kitten I have pressed to my chest. He was absolutely the most adorable thing I had ever seen! So fluffy I could die- though he did have some patches missing from where the vets had to shave him- with bold blue silver tabby markings and tufted ears and toes. He was still doped up from whatever procedure he went through, and he wasn’t very conscious when I found him but he seemed to recognize me. As soon as he was in my arms the little sweet heart had started PURRING, even rubbing his face against my shoulder and chest. I honestly teared up and almost started crying in the vets office. The kitten had chosen ME as it’s Person! It was the most amazing feeling in the world. The vet had given me care instructions, along with a diet plan and several rounds of antibiotics to prevent complications with the kittens internal wounds. I make idle small talk with my mom as she drives us home. Once more I reflect how sad it is that at 23 I’m still living with my mother and don’t own a car or even know how to drive; then again, it’s much more affordable and I would like to avoid debt building up. Cuz fuck this economy.   
She pulls into the garage and I wait for her to move the dogs out of the way so they don’t accidentally hurt the kitten. Giant lovable idiots have no idea that they aren’t lap dogs and they’re both spoiled to hell.   
When mom gives the all clear I head inside and makes my escape upstairs to my room. There, I place the drowsy feline on one of my favorite pillows and recline myself on the bed next to him, browsing idly on my phone. 

 

The first thing he sees as the fog begins to clear is a woman laying directly across from him. She’s facing him on her side and smiling brightly, and he can’t tell if she’s wearing clothes under the blankets, leaving only one possible conclusion in his drug addled mind.   
“Whoa hey miss, uh, not that I’m not flattered but at least let’s go for dinner first!” He says, making to push her back gently with a hand to her shoulder. Instead, a paw lands solidly on her nose, making her squeal quietly and Kisame mentally reel. “What the fuck.” The woman sits up -she’s clothed, thank the gods- and starts babbling at him in gibberish. He tries to sit up as well, only to be stopped by a large hand on his shoulder and a deeply concerned look on the woman’s face. “Hey-“ He goes to protest, only to get gentle shushing noises and soft hands petting him down his side. From the way her hands avoid certain areas, he slowly begins to remember through a drugged haze. “Oh yeah... I was dying,” he thinks as he gazes at the smiling woman with the soothing chakra, “she... helped me? Why?” Kisame wonders, even as he lets himself relax against the pillow and her stroking hands. For some reason, he can’t help but be at ease; somehow, it’s like he can sense that she won’t hurt him.   
The fingers petting him find a particularly pleasurable spot on his neck and he startles himself with the loud rumble that erupts from his chest. It’s a purr. He’s Purring. Kisame looks down at his ribs as if accusing them of treason, only to remember his... paw... hes also covered in fur. A growing feeling of alarm prompts him to look behind himself and yep. That’s a tail. 

Well shit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bada bing bada boom your wish is my doom.   
> Once again, entirely self indulgent garbage of dubious quality. Hopefully it gets better over time. I have no update schedule. Suffer with me lmao  
> (Lamenting my anguish online)

**Author's Note:**

> Yes I know it’s short and not that great but I’m lazy and this is mostly for me so mleh.


End file.
